Happy Women’s Day!

S. Balakrishnan

It was 7.30 AM on that blissful morning but my wife was sleeping; or was she merely pretending to sleep? As the saying goes, you can wake up one who is really sleeping but not the one who is pretending to sleep.  Was that her strategy for starting a quarrel? After my repeated commands (I am just joking), requests, begging and pleadings, at last she graciously opened her lotus bud eyes but they were irritated and fiery. ‘Don’t you know what day is today?’ she barked. I gulped the saliva, bent my head and innocently murmured, ‘Darling, today is Thursday, no? But I am not sure; you better decide which day is today’, I left the decision to her.  ‘Nonsense, today is Thursday, of course, but I didn’t mean the day of the week, you dumb, I meant the international day’, she politely shouted back.  The dumb that I am, I continued, ‘If today is Thursday here, I suppose internationally also it is Thursday, though it could vary in Moon, Mars or Saturn’, I tried to show off my astronomical IQ. ‘Oh, my God, I don’t know how to curse You for giving me such a super husband’, she started wailing. ‘You @#!$* .. what date is today?’ she continued her interrogation.  I checked the annual, bi-monthly, monthly & daily calendars and also my mobile to be triple sure (it would have been easier, instead, to pronounce talaq, talaq, talaq) and humbly replied, ‘I think it is March 8’.  ‘Yes, indeed it is March 8, and March 8 is INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY, hurray!’ she grinned at last. I was happy for her. But in our house every day is Women’s Day, I assured her.  That is routine, but this is special, she reassured back. ‘Okay, be it so, but when are you readying my breakfast and lunch?’  I hungrily enquired (Please, don’t misread it as angrily, I’ll literally be in deep soup). ‘A holy day is a holiday, my dear; so no cooking today’, she exclaimed in a jolly holy mood.  ‘But what I do for breakfast & lunch?’ I asked pathetically.  ‘No buts & ifs; I will butt you’, she joked! ‘Yesterday’s leftover rice and the day before sambar are lying in the fridge; reheat and quench your hunger’, she was so compassionate.  Really worried that there was nothing left still older & stale for my lunch, she asked me to go straight to the State Govt.-subsidized Amma canteen; good for the purse, she coolly advised, not bothered if it was good for my stomach.  As ordered, I ate the leftovers with a shut mouth!  Eating with a shut mouth!  Is that really possible? Oh, yes, anything must be possible by a brave husband, especially on IWD! Happy IWD!!! …. Krishnanbala2004@yahoo.co.in  / 9840917608 Whatsapp