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Sunday, December 8, 2024

The Silent Suffering of Men: Recognising Their Emotions on International Men’s Day

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In a world where women’s rights and empowerment are celebrated—rightly so—there lies a quieter narrative that often remains untold: the silent suffering of men. As International Men’s Day approaches, it offers a moment to pause and reflect on the emotional tapestry of a gender often perceived as stoic and unyielding. Men, too, are human. They laugh, cry, hurt, and yearn for understanding. Yet, society’s rigid definitions of masculinity have pushed their vulnerabilities into the shadows, rendering them invisible in a culture that increasingly leans towards celebrating the strength of women.

From a young age, boys are told to “man up,” “stop crying,” and “be tough.” Emotions are branded as weakness, and tenderness is seen as a threat to their masculinity. This indoctrination begins early, creating a chasm between who they are and who society expects them to be. Men often carry unspoken burdens—financial pressures, societal expectations, and familial responsibilities—without seeking help. This reluctance stems not from an absence of feelings but from a fear of judgment. To many, vulnerability equals failure.

The toll of this emotional repression is devastating. According to the World Health Organisation, men account for 75% of suicides globally. These numbers lay bare a grim reality: men are silently crying out for help, but the world seems too busy to listen.

The rise of feminism, a vital and necessary movement, has brought much-needed attention to women’s issues. However, somewhere along the way, the dialogue shifted to a narrative of competition rather than collaboration. True feminism, in its essence, champions equality for all genders—not the supremacy of one over the other. Yet, many men feel left behind in this conversation. In the pursuit of equality, some men perceive an undercurrent of neglect. They feel that while women are being celebrated for breaking stereotypes, men are shackled to theirs. This isn’t the fault of feminism but rather society’s inability to broaden its scope of empathy.

In modern discourse, the celebration of women’s milestones—boardroom triumphs, athletic victories, or political successes—often overshadows the quiet contributions of men. While we rightly applaud women for breaking barriers, we seldom acknowledge the men who quietly sacrifice for their families or those who grapple with societal pressures to be perfect providers. Consider Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day. While the latter often commands emotional tributes, the former is relegated to barbecues and beer commercials. This discrepancy isn’t just in celebrations but also in expectations. A father working two jobs to ensure his children’s future is rarely hailed as heroic, yet a mother doing the same is often seen as the epitome of sacrifice.

Men are not seeking to steal the spotlight from women. They are simply asking to share it. True gender equality lies not in elevating one gender at the expense of another but in ensuring that both are equally seen, heard, and valued. This International Men’s Day, let us embrace the idea that men, too, need safe spaces to express themselves without judgment. Let us teach boys that it is okay to cry, to admit they are scared, and to seek help when overwhelmed. Let us encourage fathers to take paternity leave without fear of being perceived as less committed to their careers. Let us celebrate male teachers, nurses, and caregivers for their contributions in roles traditionally associated with women.

At the same time, we must dismantle the toxic elements of masculinity that harm both men and women. This includes rejecting the glorification of aggression, dominance, and emotional suppression. We must remind men that strength is not in hiding their pain but in confronting it. Men are the brothers who stand by us during our lowest moments, the fathers who sacrifice dreams for our stability, the sons who make us proud, and the friends who listen when the world turns its back. They are not perfect, but they are not invincible either. They bleed, they cry, and they fall apart. And they deserve to do so without being shamed or silenced.

Imagine a world where men are free to be themselves—where they are no longer burdened by the expectation of being stoic protectors. Imagine a world where a father can openly admit to feeling overwhelmed without fear of judgment. Imagine a boy being told that it’s okay to fail, that he doesn’t have to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.

This International Men’s Day, let us pledge to create that world. Let us shift the narrative from competition to collaboration, from judgment to understanding, and from silence to conversation. The journey towards true gender equality is not a race but a partnership. It requires men and women to walk side by side, not ahead or behind.

Men are not the enemy of feminism; they are its allies. And when we embrace this truth, we will find that both genders rise together. Let International Men’s Day be a celebration not of dominance but of humanity. Let it remind us that men, too, are deserving of love, respect, and care. They, too, have feelings. They, too, matter. In the words of the great American poet Walt Whitman, “I am large, I contain multitudes.” So do men. And it’s time the world saw them for the rich, complex, and emotional beings they truly are.

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